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The global quest to finally prove Shaq's existence
In a recent archaeological uncovering, an international team of archaeologists were baffled to discover an ancient Roman mosaic hidden inside a secret room below Gallery B4. The room, which astonished archaeologist Dr. Jeannette Howard, was constructed in an immaculate Late Republican style that displays fine pieces of lapis lazuli and alabaster shipped from as far afield as Nubia. Until recently, it was assumed under standard Shaquillean Theory that Shaq had only played a minor part in Roman mythology but this new discovery, depicting him in a heroic pose akin to that usually reserved for Mars, suggests that his followers may have been nearly as numerous, at least in the frontier regions of the empire. From what can be interpreted thus far, Shaq’s presence is meant to imbue a sick dunk against a cowering opponent, much as fertility idols during the same period were meant to help women conceive. Shaq’s posture and front facing pose insure the viewer is confronted by the raw, intimidating power of his offensive abilities. For years, establishment historians have baselessly rejected the idea that Shaq could play such an integral and important part in many of the great ancient civilizations. For the first time however, those who had doubted SHAQ now doubt themselves. The TRUTH is out there and it waits to be discovered.
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What seemed to be just another average morning for Monique turned out to be much more than she bargained for. The 53-year-old Toledo woman was making herself breakfast when she made a shocking discovery within her slice of sourdough toast. Although it initially appeared to be nothing more than just burns created by the toaster, upon further investigation, it looked an awful lot like Shaquille O'Neal.
"I've never been a believer in any of this crap, but this has really woken me up," Monique tells us. Could it be purely coincidental, or a divine intervention from Shaq himself? We'll let you decide. A generic stock photo family is in complete disbelief over a possible Shaq sighting hidden within their tropical vacation photo. Although the picture is seemingly innocent, the generic family began to ask questions after looking in the background. "I think that is Shaq," the generic mother of two said when making the discovery. Skeptics questioned the family when looking at the photo, but here at ShaqIsOutThere, we decided to delve deep within the photo. The results will shock you. Here is the original copy of their family photo. In order to see it, we must zoom into the area of our focus. Don't see it? We must zoom in more. Still don't see it? Not to worry. Using state of the art As Seen on TV™ enhancement technology, we can reveal the truth behind this photo. As you can see here, it is clearly Shaq in this photo. Shocking. A groundbreaking discovery today has uncovered one of the secrets behind da Vinci's The Last Supper which has caught the attention of historians and religious leaders alike. A recent discovery of a buried version of the painting in some guy named Steve's backyard has led us to believe that Shaq was one of Christ's apostles. According to Steve, he uncovered the painting while digging up holes in his yard. He claims that the painting, which he discovered preserved on laminated printer paper, is over 500 years old. The Thirteenth Apostle theory is gaining quite a bit of traction, and it is safe to confirm its truth.
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August 2018
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